Let the insanity begin

RIP

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:45:38 GMT

Dearly beloved,
we gather here to say
our goodbyes

Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass- You bet your ass to-
La Vie Boheme

I sing the beginning of this song in ode to the death of something dearly beloved to me, and that which has been a part of my life for the past 4-5 years. Dear MP3 player, I shall miss you. You kept me entertained when times were dull. You have suffered many abuses and tortures in which no one should ever have to suffer. I have held you close to me when times seemed bleak, you cheered me up when I was sad, you egged me on when I was feeling emo sad and wanting to listen to emo music to ensure a profitable self pity party. You lasted many hours in the studio with me, sat by my side during long car trips, you've seen vacations come and go, flights out and into the country, you inspired me to clean more, you inspired me to dance, you inspired me to do obscene things with people, you've inspired me to go that extra 20 minutes at the gym. Oh, how I miss thee... but tonight, I shall put your lifeless husk to rest, and savor the days I had with thee. Those nights that you cooed me to sleep, those days you soothed my tears, I never got the chance *sob* to tell you these things before the accident...

Yes... the accident. I'm sorry... the treadmill was just too much for you.. and the way you bounced off the eliptical machine behind, it was in slow motion for me... with out music even.

Goodbye dear friend. I'll never forget what you have done for me.

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 03:38:11 GMT

Create your own Friend Test here

I can has Brownies?

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 03:35:08 GMT

So... it's official. My boyfriend rocks hardcore. He made me brownies, from scratch, with icing from scratch... perfect brownies too! This is right after making dinner, from scratch. This man frikking rocks!

One of the many reasons I love him. ^_^

Jumps around

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 03:56:22 GMT

So I'm sitting in my new home. Over the river and through Sharon Woods, to my new ohio residency I go. It's nice. A lovely little apartment, away from the chaos and drugs. God, that drove me batty. Tim was upset with all the shit that was going down, so we picked me up and moved me into his apartment. Hopefully this time goes around better than the last few tries I've had with living with my chosen mates. It feels different this time, something strange I cannot place my finger on exactly, perhaps it's just that I feel like I'm home. Something that has been a lost feeling to me for the past million years or something. Tim is good to me, and I'm good to him. We care for each other deeply and take care of the other. When I was sick, he picked me up from work and made me homemade soup and comforted me. When his ailment is acting up, I help him around the apartment and drive him where he needs to go.

Thus far there haven't been too many altercations and those we've had we have settled before bed, which is a good thing I suppose. I don't have breakdowns, and the one I've had within the past 6 months were over the fact I'm graduating and I am really going to miss that school. Well, mostly the print room with Heidi and Andrea, who acted as my second family. Tim was there for that. He held me and assured me that everything will be alright and I can always go and visit to wreak havoc. I just can't believe that after Saturday it's all over and I'm out of there. It's amazing. I've no real job lined up, but I'm looking around at places and I have some potentials for my artwork.

I have a gallery that may be interested in my work. I'll keep the community (those that still read) posted on what goes on where and if so what time. Andrea says that my art this year has proved that I can make it into the art world and easily sell my stuff when I get it out in the public. She feels really confident about it and is urging me strongly to get a website going. Andrea insists that I have a career ahead of me with this. I hope she's right.

Trinny cat is very happy here. It's just the three of us in this place. No psycho kitten, no psycho weiner, no drug use and second hand pot smoke to make her high, no chaos. Just peace and love... and no milk. Tim has discovered in a very bad way what happens when you give her milk... it's biological warfare... the gaseous kind. ... yeah.

I don't know why this place feels like home, but it has for a while now. I feel comfortable and at ease here, like this is where I belong. Me, my kitty and my nerd.

Home at last.

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:03:51 GMT

I can't believe how far my drawings and art have advanced since high school. Hell! Even since the beginning of college! I found an old sketchbook... I had once thought it was a wicked cool sketchbook that put my others to shame... damn was I oh so wrong.

I started paging through it looking at past assignments from my art 100 class, the same very class I'm a teacher's aide in, and I'm in utter shock and horror of my work. Stuff I would strut about then is shameful compared to stuff I'm doing right now. It's so funny, I use to think I was hot shit and my work was superb! Now, after the sketchbook has been buried for over 4 years, I look back and cringe at my work. Holy crap this shit sucks!!! I mean, yeah, I had to go through that to get to where I am today, but on the same note... omigod it's bad! I mean, I guess in comparison it's total shit, but it's still better than some people's stuff too.

I mean, sure, there's some fun stuff in there... nothing I would show off to anybody now... but when you've gone through over 9 sketchbooks in the past 6 years... there's bound to be shit and there's stuff that's getting better and instances when I look back and say 'How the fuck did I forget how to draw clothing?! I did before! Why can't I now! I guess my people are meant to be nekkid! W00T to teh Nudity!"

So in paging through this sketchbook, I have seen some crap and I remember drawing half of that crap. It's funny really... I look at each picture and can see myself sitting there, or laying there, or standing, or any combination of the three drawing. I remember what the room looked like, what my hair looked like, and my environment. I then came across a sketch of CB I'd done.

It was eerie. I could see them playing cards, CB next to Rob who was next to Dave who was next to Joe with Crystal on the couch watching some anime. I was laying on the floor with Trinny cat lying ontop of me doing what she does best. The table set was this hideous sea green wicker set that CB had gotten from his mother or a relative of some sort. the table was a glass top, the carpet was that ugly beige color that they put into apartments that 'go with everything'. There were grease stains on the carpet from moving stuff where the joints of the metal objects left stains. The ceiling fan was turning, creating a semi cool breeze in the hot apartment, and the soft yellow glow of the 75 watt bulbs shining down upon the game. I lay there watching my husband as he smirked. He had a lousy poker face. I then drew him with his smirk. Laying on the floor with my cat on my back and pencil in hand, going to town.

Sadly, it's one of the few sketches in that notebook that are decent. It's kind of a pain looking back when you don't really want to, remembering a scene of a point in your life you want to be forgotten. This makes me think now, in 6 years, when I page through my sketchbooks, what will I think? What memories will I see? What ones will I grin at and what ones will I cringe to? What memories will be bittersweet in my mouth at that point in time? What will my work be like then? It's hard to tell, but in time, I will be able to look back and remember, and when I do remember, what points in my current will I not want to remember?

Customer service

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:48:26 GMT

Somedays this is exactly how I feel. ^_^

Long assed post!

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:59:28 GMT

Holy crap... another long gap of time between posts... and I wouldn't be one bit shocked if no one actually reads this anymore.

I have concluded that I should not be allowed to go on vacation anymore. Yep. I said it. I can't do vacations. I go away and come back to drama and trauma left and right. While sitting in the airport in Florida, missing Tim to death and wishing that my flight was indeed 5 hours earlier (nothing's more fun than sitting in an airport for 5 hours with your exhausted family who's growing just as grumpy as you are by the minute) and getting a call from Martina. Gavin's sick. He has MRSA... that's the antibiotic resistant strain of staph that's been plaguing the schools, day care centers and hospitals left and right lately, leaving in it's wake a mess of illing people and several dead. Great. I feel for the little bugger, he's 2! At that time, it was bleak looking. Martina, while keeping her calm and seemingly holding up well, was hurt and dying on the inside. I can just tell. So, she told me not to come home. He's much better now! (she turned me into a newt!)

I felt bad because I wanted to come home to see my friends and my cat. After being gone for already 6 days, my cat was already pissed at me, and being gone for another 3... she'd be hulk angry. So I went straight up to Tim's place after I got to my car. I missed my car so much... but no where near as much as I missed my Tim. Stayed the weekend up there, subjugated him to my coworkers for a lovely dinner at Texas Roadhouse, in which the irony lied is when we got home Roadhouse was on TV and Tim absolutely had to watch it because he was making snarky roadhouse references all night long at dinner. The pharmacy girls loved him, which makes me glad because I love him too and the opinions of my friends means much to me when it comes to lovers. (My friends know me better than me and can see stuff that I cannot at times.) We all laughed, we ate, we made jokes, and Tim and I had to leave early because he wasn't feeling too well. His right side was acting up, so I took the fall so he wouldn't feel bad about it. I had my flu shot that day, so being the baby I was during and right after getting it (my boss was making fun of me about it) I just said I wasn't feeling up to par and we should scoot out.

All I have to say is... this country is ass backwards when it comes to homeland security. It's so much easier to get back into the frikkin country than to get out. Going from Cincy to Florida there were 7 different security checkpoints, from Florida to the Bahamas there were 3 more. From the Bahamas to Florida to cincy there were 2... one with the scanners, and at customs they asked "do you have anything you shouldn't?' 'No,' 'Alright Mon! Have a nice flight!'...

There's something wrong with that.

Yesterday Tim and I spent the day mostly in book stores. He sheepishly asks if we could go to a bookstore and I was all for it... little did he know he'd be dragging me out 3 hours later only to end up at another bookstore. ^_^ I like books! I think he likes that because he does too. His ex wife hated them and she hated that he read so much... so he felt really awkward asking if we could go. I think he was surprised that i got sucked into them as much as he did. So our sunday was spent in bookstores and at Ihop. Sounds like a lazy nerdy sunday to me. ^_^

And last night, I come back to the house and Trinity is waiting for me at the door. She is all over me for the first 5 minutes and then makes a point of ignoring me for the next 2 hours after. She also made a point of it to sleep ontop of me last night not letting me move. If I tried to move she'd grumble and growl her opinion to me and I'd be stuck. That's what happens when you don't see your cat for over a week. She's going to make sure you don't go anywhere for a while. ^_^ I love my kitty!

Anyway, I need to get my car looked at again.. she's idling rough and not too happy about shifting gears. Hooray...

Lament

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 01:43:13 GMT

*Sigh*

Where do I begin?

So August is sucking ass all the way around Seriously, I want to sit this one out. If there's been an Emo Ned within the past half year, she's here now sitting in my place lamenting over the fast balls life throws at her.

Since August has began, shit has hit the fan, and now it's spinning around the room bespeckling the walls, and who's left to clean it up? I am. Not alone, mind you, but still.

Here's a list of the shit that's happened so far:

August 1st

1:Tiffany from work gets arrested and escorted out of Sam's. She's been skimming vicodin from the pharmacy and they have video proof of her doing so. I feel betrayed in a sense like no other. We were all shocked to learn this and all of us feel lied to. I mean, I especially feel lied to. I didn't find this out until today when I went in and Sherry was there and Tiff wasn't. I asked Sherry where Tiff was, and she did the eye roll and heaved sigh. I asked if she was ok, and she said no; she's not coming back. Then she told me. That was a brick to the face. Needless to say, I was stunned for the rest of the day until around 5, when all I wanted to do was crawl into a corner and cry.

August 2nd:
1: this is the day I find out about Tiff.

2: I get home, and Martina is tells me that she has something to tell me, and she doesn't want to because she doesn't want me to get mad or loose me. I sit patietly on the couch, hands crossed on my lap and I take a deep breath. I close my eyes and think :what else now? She tells me that she's been keeping something from me: when she was in florida and had her fling with Willie, the condom broke. Now she's missed her period. She's scared shitless. I can't blam her. She pleads for me to still be her friend because she's so scared to loose me. I sit by her and tell her that it's alright. I'm by her side no matter what road she chooses, and it takes a whole lot more to loose my friendship. She's spastic. I can't blame her.

So this has been my august so far. I don't want any part of it. Wake me up in September.

Dehydration

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 02:24:31 GMT

I am on the biggest artistic dry spell EVER! It's driving me nuts! AHHHHHH!!

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 22:20:24 GMT

Wow. So I just used my neti pot that I had just received in the mail just little over an hour ago, and I can smell all sorts of things! My sinuses feel soooooo clean!

There's some drama happening here and there, ask me and I'll tell you about it. ^_^

But beyond that, all is well. I got off early today because I switched shifts with Rosetta because she had a dental appointment that she needed to go to. They really fucked up her teeth badly the last few times, so they are fixing what they wronged. Poor woman, shit hits the fan for her almost daily, she rolls with it so easily though.

Anyway, so life's been... interesting and loads of fun as of late. Between hanging out with old friends and meeting up with new, it's been a roller coaster ride of constant hustle and bustle. Tonight, this is if Matt gets off work early, we should be out bowling. Good times, I think I want to watch some Big Lebowski before I bowl though to get me in the mood.

With in the past week: Julia, Matty and I watched some Monty Python and we had drinks. That was FUN! Especially the drunken Wii at 5 am. (this is Matty, not Matt, two different Matts here... Matty is Matt from the printmaking classes we had, our soccer buddy, and Matt is the Matt I'm seeing). So then Julia and I went to a party where we met up with her sister and Shane, the guy that Martina has a beef with, but it's now resolved due to my neutrality between the two. Then Matt and I have been hanging out, I watched Sidney, who was one of Cooper's puppies, and then Martina came back from Florida, which makes her second long assed road trip this month, and then talked to Heidi and listened to her man thing drama, Sword fought with Pat and Jerilyn at Pioneer park yesterday (which is nerdy fun),then found out that one of my exes is getting a sex change operation (from female to male), and then wrote the longest run on sentence I've ever written to this day. It's been WILD!

Work's been riotous fun, and tomorrow is Vaginal tyranny night, so we'll be raising hell out somewhere in the tristate area.

Muah ha ha ha! I'm soooo busy!

Well, enough of that. I need a shower.

Don't Do Me Like That

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 03:36:51 GMT

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Dead Man walking - David Bowie (so fucking true.)
WHAT IS YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE? Lying is the most fun a girl can have with out taking her clothes off - Panic at the Disco (yeah, that sums it up)
WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU? Cut Dead - Jesus and Mary Chain. (wtf?)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Nishe - Muse (really? That's weird)
WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU? Faggot - MSI (That cracks my shit up!!!)
HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE? Brutality - Urban Voodoo (Yeah... kinda. Seems more relevant 3 months ago)
HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE? Du Reicshts So Gut - Rammstein (that's hysterical! The music video is about werewolves hunting down a beautiful woman)
WILL YOU GET MARRIED? Life Sucks - Adema (what the hell does that mean?)
WILL YOU HAVE KIDS? Fight Song -The Aquabats. (LOL!)
ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL? Running up that Hill - Placebo (feels like it sometimes)
WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE? Humor of the situation - Barenaked Ladies
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY? Steven's Last Night in Town - Ben Folds Five (*snicker*)
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Here - Gravity Kills (that's funny too)
THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE: Turning Japanese - The Vapors (OMG LOL!)
YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE: Scary Monsters - David Bowie with NIN. (Muah ha ha ha! Jules and i are!)
HAPPY TIMES: This Charming Man - The Smiths (heck yeah!)
SAD TIMES: 6 underground - The sneaker Pimps (makes sense to me)
EVERY DAY: Spicy Marmalade - Kotani Kinya (HAHAHAHAHA! Julia hates this song to death!)
FOR TOMORROW: Trust - Megadeth (o-really?)
FOR YOU: Stitches - Orgy (I love that song, makes me feel filthy)
WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME? Irish Drinking Song - Dropkick Murphys (LMAO!!!)
WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD? Lucky Ball and Chain - They Might Be Giants (been there, done that... seriously.)
WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING? Out of My Head - Fastball (I just might be)
YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING? Jump! They Say - David Bowie (I guess I taunt people)
HOW WILL I DIE? Video killed the Radio star - The Buggles (oh my...)
THE SONG THAT YOU'LL PUT AS YOUR SUBJECT? Don't Do Me Like that -Tom Petty (that'll get attention)

Don't bother none.

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 02:43:27 GMT

Wow. Single again... after just a few weeks shy of 2 years. But what can be done about it? Not much really. Anyone who has been near me or the both of us knew it was coming for a long while, but honestly, it's a relief. It's almost like a dead weight was taken off of my chest and I'm finally able to fill my lungs with the much needed oxygen that I've been deprived of so long.

Don't bother none.

Melancholy- a little. Somber- a tad. Content- very. It's like a wave of peace has enveloped me and I can think clearly. Anxieties have melted away into little glistening puddles of oils, which alone can have it's own beauty when staring into the swirls of color that dance amongst the light but not very far from the surface in fear of the void of light in the center of the mass.

It's been such a long time since I've been able to sit in utter silence and not feel like I want to cry or I get nerve wracked. I can meditate with ease, I can eat healthy with little to no cravings of nasty foods. I've lost 10 pounds again just going about my daily life, working, drawing, laughing even harder with my coworkers and friends. It's pleasant. I like work again. I like my alone time again, I like just sitting around doing nothing and not feeling guilty. I live in Martina's basement. It's now a nice little flat. Got my art hanging on the walls which inspire me to work harder.

I also want to get my bfa in printmaking... or at the very least I'm toiling over it in my mind, turning with each pass to see if I like the taste. Another semester or two at NKU. Perhaps. I don't think I'd be too heartbroken, but I don't want to let my family down. It's been forever since I started college and I keep getting the spanish inquisition over when I'll graduate. Soon enough. I hope. If anything, it will delay my paying off student loans for a while. Add that debt up!

Martina and Julia, whilst sitting around once Gavin was in bed, were talking to me about getting my bfa in printmaking. I expressed my concerns about it; what will I do? I'm not that good. It's just a hobby. Martina pointed out that I'm the happiest in the room grueling over a press or a screen and that I had the techniques down to an art. That I'm the most excited when I come up with a print idea, and that I can execute my ideas coherently. She also pointed out that all of the beginner students (and some of the advanced) turn to me for assistance and help when lost. The fact that Heidi, one of the professors and long time buddy, turned to me to help her learn screen printing (she's a relief printer, so she was rather not very keen on the screen printing idea) proved that I can be an effective teacher. I was stunned and just sipped away at my cosmo grinding the gears in my brain. Could I be? Hell if I know, but now I'm stuck. I want to look into getting my bfa, but I have turned in my graduation papers, done my senior show, and have all my requirements set for graduation.

The good news is if I do decide to go for it, this will give me time to raise my GPA to a level I'm more comfortable with. I'm so close I can touch it with the tiny molecules of my finger, but no more.

SO much to think about...

But that's been what's going on in Ned world. Sorry for the horrifically long delay in posting.

I have so much more to tell, but I need to get some sleep. Going to bed around 4 am consecutively is not really conducive to my sleeping requirements.

Holy crap Batman! An Update?

Sun, 20 May 2007 05:29:30 GMT

WRITE EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND, AND DON’T CHANGE IT

1. Your ‘ex’ and You = should've fought it out in a bloody death match... with safety scissors.

2. I am listening to = Puppies eat food

3. Maybe I should = Go to bed

4. I love = printmaking

5. My 3 best friends = Julia, Martina, Jen/Heidi. It's a tie

6. I don’t understand = Why people are stupid.

7. I have lost my respect for = humanity

9. The meaning of my display name is = a line from an Eve 6 Song

10. God = not around here

11. Someday = I'll be out of debt

12. I will always be = a nerd

13. Love seems to = be just slipping through my fingers

14. I never ever want to lose = my mind

15. My myspace is = silly, just plain silly.

17. I get annoyed when = people hit the 'clear' button instead of the 'accept' button when they are signing the sign pad at work. How the hell does clear mean okay when accept is on the screen too? Why the hell are they so surprised when their signature is gone?!

18. Parties = are not what they use to be.

20. Simple Kisses = are complicated

21. Today I = did a lot

22. I wish = for tranquility

IS YOUR/ARE YOU
01. is your hair wet?: Nah

02. is your cell phone right by you? by me charging

03. do you miss someone? More often than not, even when they are right next to me, they seem to be gone somehow...

04. are you wearing chap stick?: no

05. are you tired?: yes

06. are you wearing pajamas? nope

08. are you mad?: mad like I'm crazy mad, but not angry mad.

09. are you upset?: Here and there

HAVE YOU
01. recently done anything you regret? Who hasn't?

02. ever lied?: yes

03. ever stuck gum under a desk?: I find it vile and a disgusting thing to do.

04. ever kicked someone?: Yeah. In TKD plenty.

05. ever tripped over your own feet?: More often than I walk

TODAY HAVE YOU:
01. have you cursed: Cursed like @#!$@, then yes, but put a curse on someone... yeah.

02. have you gotten mad at someone? Hell yeah I have. I've been HULK angry!

-RANDOM-
Q: is there a person who is on your mind right now? Yes there is

Q: do you have any siblings? Toad

Q: do you want children? When they aren't my own and can give them back. Can I rent children?

Q: do you smile often?: It might be fake.

Q: do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I'm bad about that. And then I get pissed when I got to untie them to put them back on.

Q: do you like your handwriting?: Yes and no. On certain days I do.

Q: are your toenails painted?: I don't want my toenails. I'll sell them to you.

Q: are you a friendly person?: It might be fake; I come off friendly, but later people realize I'm a seething bitch inside. ^_^

Q: who’s bed other than yours do you sleep in? the cough. Doh!

Q: what color shirt are you wearing?: navy blue

Q: what were you doing at 7pm yesterday? Clocking out from work

Q: I can’t wait until: I go to bed.

Bandwagon.

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:45:59 GMT

Jumping onboard with the new year meme!

It's a New Year
This past year:

Have your religious views gotten stronger or weaker?: they are still the same really.

Who were your best friends?: Kendra and Julia

Name your boyfriends/girlfriend: Kendra

How long was each relationship?: A whole year with her and she hasn't killed me yet (gotten close, but not yet)

How was January: Mostly went between school and work. Moved to mom's house at the end of the month to save money up and help her with stuff.

How was February: Mom's birthday, drama ensues.

How was March: Get Lasix at the end of the month, drama with mom. Kendra and I kinda broke up, it was more of a break, but it was tearful.

How was April: This is the big one. Mom gets pissy about julia's birthday (mom wanted me to take her somewhere while I promised julia months ahead of time to celebrate her birthday, I told mom I could take her whereever she wanted as long as we were back by 11. She didn't get out of bed at noon and wanted me to take her at 2 pm). Then Kendra and I got back together, all is well there. Mom then gets pissed off and kicks me out of the house over york peppermint patties. Yes, you read right.

How was May: Moved in with Kendra, some chaos, but mostly work.

How was June: I don't know what really happened here in june besides the 1 year anniversary of Kendra and I. She didn't kill me! I also believe that it was this month that my grandfather died. I need to double check, but I'm pretty sure. It's sad, I miss him so much and it's amazing how much we have in common now. (He was a printer and owned several large named print companies)

How was July: Stickiness, sweat, heat kicks up. Summer. Work more. Boo.

How was August: Summer came and went in a heated fury, I turned 25, and hadn't touched a pool in over a year. Wow. Bitched a lot about the heat and global warming. Birthday drama, the usual mix of mom drama on it.

How was September: Kendra's birthday, did everything in my power to make this one a good one.

How was October: Stayed at home this year for trick or treat and gave out play-dough to the little ones that came. They frikkin loved it! Fell in love with printmaking, was very sad I didn't take it earlier in my college career.

How was November: Painted a raunchy painting for my painting class, a woman giving fellatio to a giant dildo. Muente hated it and didn't even want to talk about it in class or recognize that it was a phallus ('Uhhh... is there any way that could be a snake or a hose or something... perhaps?' No Muente, it's a giant silicone cock. Deal with it douche)

How was December: School ends, give prints for christmas that I made in class. Joined print club, quit smoking, and cursed my car to death. It was fast and furious, and I was in disbelief that it was about to be 2007.

How many parties did you attend?: I don't remember... I know there was the christmas party, umm... birthday parties... Ummm... yeah.

Did you get drunk for the first time?: Ha ha! That's funny.

Did you lose someone you love?: Yes, I lost my grandpa, Tommee Rosenthal

Did someone have a baby?: Ummm... I don't remember...

Any new friends?: Yeah, some in school. Art kids are fun.

Lose any friends?: Had a big fall out with Mike, but on the same note, I think we made amends. Haven't talked to JR much, and I need to because I love that silly man to death (PANIS!!!).

Who changed your year?: I think I did.

Anything you wish you could re-do?: Several things, mostly stupid things that I've said and done.

What and why?: Self-explanitory.

Did you lie to your parents?: Nothing I could think of that I needed to lie about.

Did you lie to your friends?: Nothing I can think of...

Did you get lied to?: If I have, I don't know about it yet.

Do you hate anyone new?: More stupid people.

Does anyone new hate you?: I may have made a few enemies.

Are you glad this year is over?: Not glad, but not sad.

Who do you want to thank for your bad year?: Medicare. Evil professors. Gas?

Who do you want to thank for your good year?: Kendra, my friends, my family, Heidi for printmaking, Ummmm.... my kitty cat?

Do you think you'll keep the same friends?: I hope so.

What is your new year resolution?: See the previous post.

The new year:

Will you keep your resolution?: It is my resolution to keep my resolutions.

How many more girlfriends/boyfriends do you think you'll have?: None. I love my current one.

Anything exciting happening this year?: HolyCrapIGraduate!

Who do you think you'll spend the most time with?: Kendra, prolly my mom.

Who will you stop hanging out with?: Umm... I hope no one.

Anything you hope to do this year?: Comic, graduate, college, get out of debt.

Are you gonna kiss the same person this next new year?: Kendra was home sick and I was aat a party. I kissed her on the forehead when I got home.

3..2..1-Happy New Year!: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Holy crap! New Year!

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 23:57:18 GMT

It's been so long since I've posted, they've changed the posting format... wow.

So it's a new year, happy new year everybody, and of course, I bet everyone has a list or new year resolutions to start and ignore by march. Well, I have composed a list for myself, but it's more of a self improvement list and a weekly upkeep list for a better me. Or some crap like that. To make things easier I separated them into three categories to make me feel like I only have 3 resolutions when I have more than that. I also think they are pretty sensible and definitely do-able. Here they are!

#1 MIND: Be more positive.
-observe more. I see and know a lot of things, but there is still much that I overlook and am just dumbfounded by... even if the signs have been there all along.
-Write more. This will help me in several ways, not only to get some of this rot out of my head, but to also help me get going with my comic stories I've been brewing for only the last decade or so and help me be more of a critical thinker.
-Read more. I love to read, and personally I don't think that people can read too much. I want to pick up a book more rather than turn on the television to watch some crap that is on.
-Be motivated. What's the point of writing resolutions if you don't get your ass in gear and do them?

#2 BODY: Loose 20-30 pounds and keep healthy.
-Exercise. This one will be the most painful thing to do because I'm a slacker and a lazy bum... they go hand in hand often. So I need to work out 2-3 times a week, to start with of course.
-Work midsection. This goes along with the prior point, but more of a goal section to work on. I have a gut! AhhhHH!
-Eat healthier and organic. I need to eat more greens, less carbs, and keep going organic when given the choice. I think eating healthy should be easy, but it's NOT! Bad stuff tastes soooooo good and I shouldn't eat much. Moderation Nikki, moderation.
-Find the right supplements for myself. Not all vitamins are good for everybody, I need to find that right combination to get the most optimal effect.

#3 SOUL:Improve, soothe and ease burden upon self.
-See Friends more. I desperately need to do this, I miss them and I've become a stay at home hermit after work and class. Seeing my friends will be a great stress release and having fun is a must have.
-Call family more. Okay, so I hear from my mom just about every frikkin day whether I like it or not, but what about the rest of them? Dad, Grandma, Barb, cousins, brother? I need to call them and talk with them more.
-Meditate 2x a week. I think this will be a good idea and a nice way to relieve stress and rest the mind. I really believe in meditation.
-Eat less meat. Why do this? For several reasons. For one, health. Organic meat is so expensive and hard to come by. Secondly, kharma. Yeah, I said it, kharma. Sure, no matter what you eat, you are killing something, plants die for you to eat, so do cows, birds and what not. I'm not going vegan! Oh god no, I believe that we are meant to eat meat just like dogs and other predators are (if we weren't, why can we digest it and not get ill? and why are there important nutrients and vitamins that we get from meat and nowhere else?), I just feel that eating excessive meat can interrupt the inner homeostasis of the flow of the soul. It's hokey, but go to hell!
-Draw and print more. Sounds like a good idea. I like drawing, I like printing, why not do it more?
-Do Comic! I've only been talking about actually working on it for 5 years now, why shouldn't I do it now? I can have a nice online comic and get my shit out there. Yeah!
-Be less selfish. Think of others more, be nicer, and share my chocolate (omg that will be hard)
-Be more keen with the spiritual aspects of life. Not like going to church or anything, but appreciate the innerself, the community, and the souls of the world around us... aka being a hippie.

They sound reasonable enough to me, I mean the worst one I quit at the beginning of December, which was to quit smoking. Yay me! I started on the gum, fury chomping away at it, then one day I forgot to bring some with me, and then another and then another, then I just forgot about it all together. Then I remembered and was like 'Oh, I haven't had my gum in about a week... I guess that means I quit smoking? Huh, I quit smoking. Cool.' What an intelligent revelation... I can be a dumbass sometimes.

Holy crap! New Year!

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 23:53:31 GMT

It's been so long since I've posted, they've changed the posting format... wow.

So it's a new year, happy new year everybody, and of course, I bet everyone has a list or new year resolutions to start and ignore by march. Well, I have composed a list for myself, but it's more of a self improvement list and a weekly upkeep list for a better me. Or some crap like that. To make things easier I seperated them into three categories to make me feel like I only have 3 resolutions when I have more than that. I also think they are pretty sensible and definantly do-able. Here they are!

#1 MIND: Be more positive.
-observe more. I see and know a lot of things, but there is still much that I overlook and am just dumbfounded by... even if the signs have been there all along.
-Write more. This will help me in several ways, not only to get some of this rot out of my head, but to also help me get going with my comic stories I've been brewing for only the last decade or so and help me be more of a critical thinker.
-Read more. I love to read, and personally I don't think that people can read too much. I want to pick up a book more rather than turn on the television to watch some crap that is on.
-Be motivated. What's the point of writing resolutions if you don't get your ass in gear and do them?

#2 BODY: Loose 20-30 pounds and keep healthy.
-Excercise. This one will be the most painful thing to do because I'm a slacker and a lazy bum... they go hand in hand often. So I need to work out 2-3 times a week, to start with of course.
-Work midsection. This goes along with the prior point, but more of a goal section to work on. I have a gut! AhhhHH!
-Eat healthier and organic. I need to eat more greens, less carbs, and keep going organic when given the choice. I think eating healthy should be easy, but it's NOT! Bad stuff tastes soooooo good and I shouldn't eat much. Moderation Nikki, moderation.
-Find the right supplements for myself. Not all vitamins are good for everybody, I need to find that right combination to get the most optimal effect.

#3 SOUL:Improve, soothe and ease burden upon self.
-See Friends more. I desperately need to do this, I miss them and I've become a stay at home hermit after work and class. Seeing my friends will be a great stress release and having fun is a must have.
-Call family more. Okay, so I hear from my mom just about every frikkin day whether I like it or not, but what about the rest of them? Dad, Grandma, Barb, cousins, brother? I need to call them and talk with them more.
-Meditate 2x a week. I think this will be a good idea and a nice way to relieve stress and rest the mind. I really believe in meditation.
-Eat less meat. Why do this? For several reasons. For one, health. Organic meat is so expensive and hard to come by. Secondly, kharma. Yeah, I said it, kharma. Sure, no matter what you eat, you are killing something, plants die for you to eat, so do cows, birds and what not. I'm not going vegan! Oh god no, I believe that we are meant to eat meat just like dogs and other predators are (if we weren't, why can we digest it and not get ill? and why are there important nutrients and vitamins that we get from meat and nowhere else?), I just feel that eating excessive meat can interrupt the inner homeostasis of the flow of the soul. It's hokey, but go to hell!
-Draw and print more. Sounds like a good idea. I like drawing, I like printing, why not do it more?
-Do Comic! I've only been talking about actually working on it for 5 years now, why shouldn't I do it now? I can have a nice online comic and get my shit out there. Yeah!
-Be less selfish. Think of others more, be nicer, and share my chocolate (omg that will be hard)
-Be more keen with the spiritual aspects of life. Not like going to church or anything, but appreciate the innerself, the community, and the souls of the world around us... aka being a hippie.

They sound reasonable enough to me, I mean the worst one I quit at the beginning of December, which was to quit smoking. Yay me! I started on the gum, fury chomping away at it, then one day I forgot to bring some with me, and then another and then another, then I just forgot about it all together. Then I remembered and was like 'Oh, I haven't had my gum in about a week... I guess that means I quit smoking? Huh, I quit smoking. Cool.' What an intelligent revelation... I can be a dumbass sometimes.

:(

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 20:43:43 GMT

I just don't know anymore... I mean, really, shit has hit the fan, yes, but it's the clean up stage of the impact now. What am I talking about? What else do I talk about...my love life in strife. I just don't know what to do, because I have this internal struggle going on between my love and loyalty to Kendra and my want to be happy... or convince myself that I am. Am I making the same mistakes that I made 4 years ago? Have I learned nothing? I feel that I cannot do anything. I'm easily intimidated and she takes advantage of that. She gets pissed at me if I go to hang with my friends, she gets pissed if I don't. She swears up and down that Julia and I are having an affair, she says I neglect her, that I don't care, and a lot of other confounding things. Sure, I've lied to her about the not smoking thing... I am not smoking now, got me the gum, but before I was off and on it... and she got pissed.

She holds everything against me even when I try to do everything for her. I go out of my way to pick her up from work on bad days when I feel that walking several blocks to the bus is not fit, and when I can in the morning, it's now almost expected if not demanded. I'm guilted because I didn't pick her up... or what not. I tell her I love her, I want to snuggle, I want to kiss, hug and cuddle, but it's almost like I'm trying to love a brick wall. She still insists that I don't care when I shower her with love. I buy her flowers, I take her to dinner, I rush home from work to be with her because she gets pissed if I get sidetracked. I don't have sudden moments of spontanaety anymore... I can't, she'll get pissed. I feel so self conscious. She tells me that she doesn't feel well when I bring up sex. I can understand because she does have issues with her body, with the plethora of surgeries that she's had and what not. But also when she's pissed she doesn't want anything to do with it nor me. So I don't know if she's pissed or hurting, and I get yelled at for asking. I also get yelled at for assuming. I cannot do anything right in her mind.

She doesn't take me out to dinner. She never has bought me flowers. She never has gone out of her way within the past year to be with me or to do something nice for me (minus our 1 year anniversary, which was nice... for once.) I feel so unloved, but when I voice my concern or my feelings, I get the guilt trip. I get told that my feelings are unfounded. I feel horrible. She never says I'm sorry, I say it so often, I find myself apologizing for things that I have nothing to do with in order to make her feel better. She doesn't ever say anything to cheer me up. I don't know...

Damnit, I'm crying now... Fuck.

I'm really thristy.

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 00:52:08 GMT

If this is true... then I should have a super immune system and allergy free... which does happen to be the case... I'm only allergic to bees and shrimp... not pollen or dander or anything in the air like that... interesting but makes sense.

Applesauce.

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 00:33:15 GMT

Me: 'What the hell are you doing?'
Kendra; "what does it look like?'
Me: "Is that the appplesauce!?'
Kendra: 'Yeah'
Me: "Are you chugging the applesauce!?"'
Kendra: 'Why not?'
Me: 'Who drinks applesauce from the jar? Who the hell Chugs applesauce!?'
Kendra: 'I can't help it you don't like good food and food that's good for you.'
Me: 'But chugging it!?'
Kendra: 'Hey somebody has to chug applesauce! Why do you think there's a grip on it?'
Me: 'To pour it,'
Kendra: 'No, so you can chug it! Like this:'
Kendra chugs applesauce.

Yeah.

Ted Danson has a scary forehead.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 00:16:23 GMT

Okay LJ!

So I'm writing, just because I feel like it. Well, not I don't... so have a meme!

and here's the Pot calling the Kettle Black.

1. Someone knocks on your door at 2 a.m., who do you want it to be?: Buddha. That'd be nifty.

2. Your boss tells you he/she will give you a $20 raise if you'll do your job naked, do you stay and take the raise?: Quid Pro Quo my ass, I'll take the 20 per hour more if they do the job naked! Then I'll call all of the nasty old men that have the hots for her and tell them to come in and get their prescriptions for viagra... Ha!

3. Put yourself in a nutshell: Look! I'm in a nutshell! What kind of nut is this?

4. Ever seen a ghost?: No, but I want to.

5. Happy with your body?: No, I want to be, but I'm flabby! I'm a big hungary and can't stop! Oh noes!

6. A reason you would move to Iceland: To meet Bjork

7. A place you've lived that you miss: Ummm.... my childhood. I miss that...

8. A job you would never do no matter how much you were paid: Cleaning sewers, giving blow jobs.

9. A band you thought was cool when you were 15: 15? Who the hell was out when I was 15??? 10 Years ago! Ummm.... I dunno!!!!

10. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?: I'll roll over and wake Kendra, or I'd call Julia and tell her about my fucked up nightmares... they usually are fucked up too. In a ha ha funny way too.

11. Wanna have kids before you're 30?: Yeah. I do, before I turn even more grey and shrivel up and die.

12. A memory from high school?: 'It slices, it dices, it cyrcumcizes' "Uhhh," "long story." "Not any more."

13. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?: Aw hell no.

14. Naughtiest thing you've done at work: Taken a poo!

15. Do you look more like your mom, or your dad?: Both really, but my little brother looks more like me.

16. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do: juggle

17. Still friends with your exes?: I burn those bridges.

18. Where you'd like to be in 10 years: Somewhere with Kendra, a few brats, and a good career

19. Something you learned about yourself or life this year: I can paint.

20. What do you want for your birthday? No republicans in the house, senate and out of the presidency.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 17:32:20 GMT

So I haven't updated in a very long time, it's a wonder that anybody will still read this considering such. So I'm here, waiting for my last class of the day, trying to kill some hours. I have some lovely specks of etching ink on my right hand which makes me look like I'm a dalmation, a banana in my tummy, and listening to placebo. Good fun if you ask me.

This semester is interesting so far. I kick my week off with Comparative Religion and Sexuality (being the pervert I am, I'll take any upper level class with the word sex in it) then ease into my painting class. My tuesdays then start with my intro to print making class, which is fun because I have Heidi the great as my professor. Yay Heidi! Then I have my Industrial/Organizational Psychology class, the class I'm currently waiting for.

It's nice, because I get to go to all of my non art classes filthy and dirty and futher the 'dirty art student' stereotype on campus. No really! You can always pick out the art majors out of the croud. For one, they are covered in medium. Carcoal on the foreheads, paint all over the clothes, gesso in the hair, exact-o blade battle wounds, caked on clay in shoe strings, and lastly ink all over the arms and under the nails. We are not a pretty sort, but we love what we do. We are messy and happy as hell with our art messiness.

I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'm just free writing, the most dangerous kind of writing because there is no flow nor coherence, but that's how my mind works. Weird, huh?

I just guess with my mind flow working the way it does just makes things interesting, but it also makes it difficult to process things and to get to what I'm really talking about. What the hell am I talking about right now? Who knows! I think I do, but I don't. It's all bullshit that is being pulled from my ass as I type.

Things with Kendra are great. We are happy and giggley, there are still issues, but that's that. And no relationship is complete with out some issues. That's life, and nothing is perfect. I was hit with a tidal wave of nostalgia the other day, it was sombering and melancholy, with a sting of sadness. I was listening to Queen when 'We are the Champions' came on and I thought of my good friend Matt that I haven't talked to in over a year and I suddenly missed. I called him and he's the same arrogant fool that I knew growing up and it was nice. We talked about our girlfriends and how work and life and school and the rest of the small talk you can fit into a single conversation was going. After I got off the phone I found myself missing some other old friends. I know one that I dearly and sorely miss is Jesse, yet I have no way to get ahold of him. We had lots of fun getting into trouble back in the day and just hanging out. Then I found myself missing my friend Jason from high school, and Garth, and then I realized I have a lot of guy friends and that I'ma dyke of somesort. But I really missed them! Then I found myself thinking of Emily and Jim and Val and I missed them sorely too.

That then lead to me laying awake last night thinking about how different my life would be if I had gone to Wilmington College instead of NKU. How would I be different? I don't know about that, but I may not be as bitter, or I may be more bitter. Would I have the wonderful girlfriend I have now or one at all? I thought about it for a long while and realized exactly how many people I would not know if I went to a different school, and that's the true and only way to determine how different you would be; for those who are around you shape your experiences which in turn shapes your personna and life.

I would not have met or married my now ex-husband CB, nor would I have gotten divorced. I would've never met Emily, nor Val, or probably even talked to Jim (who I knew from Tae Kwon Do tournaments years ago before college). I wouldn't have met my freshman cohort in crime Amanda, who in turn wouldn't have met Dan. I wouldn't have gone to Campbellsburgh with Veronica and known where it was. I wouldn't have met Nichole, my first real girlfriend, nor rachel, nor Kendra. I wouldn't have met Dan Languth and laughed at his, well, you know. I wouldn't have worked at AMC, so I wouldn't know Pat, or Jen, or Mike, or Skye, or James, or Bryan, or any of my other nerds. I probably wouldn't be as close to Julia as I am now because I'm bad with keeping contact with people. I wouldn't know Lisa from Sam's, Tiffany, Rosetta, Georgia, Anne, Mike nor any of my customers whom I adore and loathe. I wouldn't have had Mike as a roommate nor hung out with any of his ex boyfriends.

I think about this, and at the same note, I think 'but how would I be different? I would know other people, have dated other people, had different experiences, etc'. But in all reality, I like the experiences I have had, they may have had a lot of hurt in them, but on the same note, they have had a lot of joy in them too, which outweighs the hurt. In retrospect, after looking back at what I have done and who has influenced my life, I am quite happy with what I have done and am glad I have made most of the choices I have.

Gotta run to class, tootles!

Wow

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 02:37:38 GMT

Just wow...

Nothing like making your brown eye pink...

http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog/2005/08/vagina_dentata_.html

and

http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0528,taormino,65754,24.html

There's something seriously wrong there.

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 23:12:40 GMT

Holy Crap! I have a finished art piece!!!

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 20:21:46 GMT

Okay, so I stole this from catystorm... 6 interesting things about yourself...

1. For some unknown reason, I find the combination of peanut butter and jelly repulsive. I don't know why, but ever since I was little I have always hated it. Perhaps it has something to do with the conflicting textures, the jelly-ness and the creamy or chunky peanut butter... and there's something about the taste... it doesn't sit well on my buds.

2. I have a tattoo on my back. His name is Alfred. He's a lion. Nifty.

3. I can honestly relate more to cats than to dogs.

4. The color yellow repulses me. I explained this to Julia and she was dumbfounded. People usually associate yellow with sunny happy things like flowers and birds and the sun and lemons or some shit. I associate yellow with rot and discoloration. White walls that have faded to a nasty yellow, puke, stomach acid, discolored toenails (nail fungus), plaque, lipids, adipose tissues, snot, general yellow crustedness, the word crust alone reminds me of yellow, bad breath would be yellow, onions, rotten skin, dying skin, jaundice, urine... all are yellow and what comes to mind when I picture yellow. ... Yeah.

5. I am ocd about cutting my toenails. I think toe nails are utterly disgusting. I will have nothing to do with them. They give me the willies.

6. I feel like I always have to please people, especially those who are close to me. If I feel I have made someone close to me unhappy then I will feel utterly guilty, for weeks even. I spend so much time trying to please everybody else I often forget what pleases me; which is something I've needed to realize and something I seriously need to overcome. I'm in charge of my own happiness and don't need to make others happy. Sure, it's great to do things for people that they like, but if it makes you miserable or over stressed in the long run, then forget it. That's when you flip out and go ape shit.

There you go! Now you guys post 6 intersting things about yourself.

meme-ness

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:28:05 GMT

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now. (some old friends from the past. I often wonder what they'd say right now)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days. (just because it's on doesn't mean I'm watching it)	✓ I own lots of books. (and manga too)
× I wear glasses or contact lenses. (laser surgery!)	× I love to play video games. (Oblivion is my obsession...)	✓ I've tried marijuana. (yeah... I ate a lot of brownies too afterwards, and hnummus, and chocolate, and chili, and pizza, and cake, and)
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (Until I get my ass beat for it)
✓ I curse sometimes. (creatively too)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (it's kinda scary)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (becky reed's nose in school on accident with a basket ball... sorry!)	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain. (Love it)
✓ I'm paranoid at times. (who isn't?)	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now. (desperately... please donate the love?)
✓ I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	× I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (only on halloween)	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
× I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	× I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
× I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends. (more than I know a lot of times!)
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex. (a lot more than a peck...)	× I enjoy talking on the phone.	✓ I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Jammie pants rock! So do boxer shorts)
× I love to shop and/or window shop. (online only)	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (You would too if she was your mom!)
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (never)	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	✓ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (I have an inkling...)	✓ I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before. (it's ntry asty)	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex. (try the same sex...)	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music. (like a lobotomy)
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys. (My woman)	✓ Democrat.	× Republican.
× I don't even know what I am.	× I am punk rockish. (I'm a slacker)	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time. (ha!)	✓ I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. (My dad taught me, he does it weirdly!)	× I can work on a car.
✓ I love my job(s). (Sure, but the pay sucks donkey ass)	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. (i don'teven wear any)	× I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
× I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
✓ I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. (husbands suck, get rid of them now!)
× I fall for the worst people.	× I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
× I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes. (and throw them exceptionally well too!)	× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse. (when I was a kid)	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in. (they are funny, and not even half way filled)	× I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo. (Alfred is the shit)	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. (I don't work directly with him, but when I see him in the break room I get the sudden urge to expell his guts on the floor)	× I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. (Muah ha ha ha! I'd have a list too)	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
× I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	× I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. (when I was a kid I did)	✓ If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. (Or maybe just an underwear colony)	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes. (I actually like my toes... except for the little toe... it's got a fucked up toenail)	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me. (I'm a nerd)	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses. (I'm greedy! I want them both! NOW)
× I want to own my own business.	✓ I smoke. (I'm quitting)	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (it's rare)	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. (in my head)
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	× I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. (all day)
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before. (and monopoly)	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. (i want to)
× I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	✓ I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again. (Shut up! You do it too!)
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	✓ I'm a HUGE drama-queen. (ask anybody)
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	✓ I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am. (I'm needy)
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language. (Only if jibberish and bullshit counts)	× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
✓ I would rather read than watch TV. (Nerd)	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction. (Nerd)	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (Oh yeah)
✓ I have no piercings. (at the moment)	× I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	✓ I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried. (More than once)
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people. (kitty cats)
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.	✓ The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. (depends on the day)	× I have hit someone with a dead fish. (No, but I really want to!)
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
✓ I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. (oh yeah)	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders. (Gay now)	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. (I've done it more than once)
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. (I use to)	× I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
✓ I always carry something significant around with me.	✓ Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. (I think I need one)	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. (Sometimes)
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother. (Aw hell no)	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document. (my ass)	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird. (more often than not)
✓ I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time. (I think I am... honestly)	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (they are nasty sluts)	× I don't like to chew gum.
× I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	✓ I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car. (Unless I consistantly park it in the same spot)	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. (use to)	✓ I love to sing. (badly)
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up. (ewwww... no)	✓ I have a custom-built computer.	✓ I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it. (damn it! I hate the fact that semen is needed to procreate)
✓ I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human. (ONLY if they were human)	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I've performed in three plays. (Inlike, grade school)
✓ I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin! (The evil one...)	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	✓ I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
✓ I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey. (I already am!)
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note. (what the fuck is death note?)	✓ I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone. (I connect to music more than most other things)	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (like sex?)	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	✓ I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.